Who I Was; Who I Am Now

Well, for starters, I know all about church. I was raised in and around church. From birth until now. My whole life has been centered around church and Christian morals and values. I heard all about the words of Jesus and the works of Jesus. I knew very early in life that salvation was the way to heaven only through Jesus. At age 4, I sang my first solo in church. I participated in the church plays and all the children's productions. 
At about age 8 or 9, I attended youth camp. Always looked forward to camp. It was the best part of my summer. This particular summer would put me on a course that would change my life. I GET SAVED!!! Definitely the best day ever. I believed and I made a choice.
Life went on. Continued to grow up and began learning how to serve in the church. My parents, both Godly and very talented in music, I started playing in the church band. As I mentioned earlier, I sang in the children's choir. Then when I finally made it to youth group, I joined the youth choir. That would eventually lead me to singing with the adults. 
In March 2003, the youth goes to Winterfest. I will never forget this trip. About 50-60 teens pile up in a charter bus and head up to Knoxville, TN for the weekend. Whoop! Whoop! Little did I know my life was about to change. During the service I knew that something was missing. I knew that even though I had gotten saved at such a young age, I knew that I had not been applying Christ to my life. I wanted a fresh start; a new beginning. This was the weekend that I dedicated my life back to Christ. The next night to follow I would be filled with the Holy Spirit. 
Since then my life has not been the same.
I am so thankful for Jesus Christ. I am forever grateful for the cross that He died on so that I could and may live. 

Recently I was asked the following questions:

1. What is the essence of God's message through you? Even though I knew all about church, and I was a good person, God had to show me that I was empty. The only way I could be full was to be full in Him. I had to accept Christ as my Savior. 
2. What is His call/purpose on your life? Well, just any other believer, we all share the calling to share the Gospel with others. I'm learning that it may be in a different way, but just as long as His word and truth are shared, then Praise the Lord.

Even since my re-dedication, I have messed up. I have had to ask God's forgiveness. Sometimes that's on a more than once a day, daily basis. That's cool though. God's grace is sufficient. Jesus cares for me enough, that He is not giving up on me. Thank God that He didn't. 

A Letter

It's been several times when I thought what I would do if we ever met up and saw each other face to face. Sometimes I wonder why there has been such a gap of time. You were someone I looked up to; someone I could come to about anything. Not anymore. When I learned the news of the divorce, I was devastated. That afternoon I laid in my mothers arms and cried. Since then I have placed a guard up over my heart. I have noticed that when I date and get into relationships, I end up dating the wrong guy. I will also end up breaking their heart before they have a chance to break mine. Am I too afraid to let the good ones in? Some people might say that I am, but its been eight years since the news and I am learning that it does not have to be my situation. At first, forgiveness was the furthest thing from my mind. I knew I needed to forgive, but I was so angry with you. However, I can't be this way anymore. I have to forgive and I will. Hatred and bitterness towards you is not an option. I do not hate you. I do forgive you. I hope you can forgive me too.

Sincerely, 

Quiet Noise

Today has been a very quiet day. I woke up the first time at 6:40-ish, stayed up for a couple of hours and decided to take a nap. I slept until almost 1:00 in the afternoon. There has been a lot on my mind and today has been one of those days where I felt I could think clearly, without any distraction. Parents are on vacation/business trip. They will be gone several days. Then my brother has been working all evening. So the quietness has been enjoyed and appreciated.

Spring

It's finally here!! A new season. Spring.
Everything is new and smells fresh.Oh, I love it!!!
New life comes to earth. New trees and fresh new flowers.
It is so beautiful.
Rain comes and hopefully lots of it.
I do my best not to complain, but oh how I love the smell of rain.
Washing the earth and rinsing it all clean.
It is so wonderful.
For my family, its new livestock. Our cows will start having their babies.
New births, they are precious.
Experiencing new life as one breathing creature after another comes into the world.
Lets not forget Easter.
The weekend that we remember Christ dying on the cross and on the third day HE AROSE!!
Only one word to describe that blessed day...awesome!

Spring is lovely, fresh, new, and beautiful.
It's crisp, cool mornings and evenings.
The afternoons are warmed up to that perfect 70 degree temperature.
For me, its an Easter dress and matching shoes to go with it. (This year I also want a matching Easter hat, so we'll see).
It's also hearing the baby birds in the morning, especially the ones who have found home on our porch.
It's Daddy getting his garden ready for the years crops. He will grow peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, potatoes, sweet potatoes, watermelon, cantaloupe, beets, strawberries, and all sorts of other stuff.
Its new grass coming up so my cows will have something to graze.

I love Spring.
Its about new beginnings.

Life Happens

Things aren't always what they seem to be. We all have a brain, but not one is the same. The way that we interpret things is different. Not every one will make decisions the same exact way. Whether we believe it or not, we are all uniquely different from others. The reason why I began with the statement  I chose is because of what I have had to face. Some people think that I have it all put together. If you think that, then you really don't know me. That's ok though. But for the ones who do know me, you can tell when I'm not my usual perky, bubbly self. Sometimes I don't even have to be in a mood, I could just be having one of those days. Hey!! It's called life for a reason and life happens!!
My life, I'm sure with several others around, has not turned out the way I thought it would. What do I have to say about that? Well, being a Christian I say the reason why it has not turned out the way I planned is because I tell myself and others that its not about what I want, but what God has planned already for my life. Everything has indeed happened for a reason. It's a reason that has been divinely orchestrated by God Himself.
I am having to learn several life lessons. Some are difficult to grasp and some are easy catch. However, I am also learning how control my minds thoughts. Again, sometimes easy; sometimes not.  There's a list of thoughts that I have written on my bathroom mirror to remind me what kinds of thoughts I should be thinking. These thoughts have already been of great help to me during this month of February. For example, there is a thought that says, "I am content and emotionally stable." I about busted out laughing when I saw it. I knew immediately that this was one I would have to work on. Contentment has become more accepting, but the emotionally stable part, not so much. This past year has been really testing me emotionally. So my goal for the past 28 days has been to change my way of thinking and to get a start and get grounded in my thoughts. For me it's been possible to do so because I have been reading my Bible more everyday. It has not felt like a chore. My prayer life is growing. I could be in my works supply room, and if you were to come in and hear me talking to myself, more than likely I am praying. The one thing I like that I have noticed is I am laughing more. I do not like the feeling of depression. It's a lonely place to be, but I am far from being lonely. God has never left me. I have a family. I have friends, several church family, and great people that I work with. God has indeed blessed me. My faith and hope are renewed. I am ready to move forward.

Pure Perfection: CHRIST

I believe that it has finally clicked. Well, it's at least getting to that point.

No one can ever love you like Jesus will.
No one can ever care for you like Jesus will.
No one can ever satisfy you like Jesus will.
No one can ever value you like Jesus will.

Believe what Jesus can and will do for you. Know that man will fail you. No one is perfect, but we seem to keep searching for that perfection in ourselves and in man. When really the only one who is perfect is Christ.

Valentine's Day

This years Valentine's Day has been by far the best I have ever experienced. Let me tell you why. I began a new job towards the middle of October as an after-school teacher here at a local church. After only being employed for about 3 1/2 months I am given the opportunity to become an assistant Pre-school teacher for Pre-K program. For me it was an honor and a privelidge to even be thought of, and of course I accepted. These past couple of months have been amazing. Never in a million years would I have thought of myself as a teacher. In fact, six months before even considering the after-school position, I would have not put myself as a teacher. Truly, it has to be the plan of God. Someone even made the statement, "I think you found your calling." Well, I guess so.

The children that I teach are really awesome kids. I tell the surrounding teachers that my class is the best. The candy that is shown above just goes to show how awesome they are. I am blessed beyond measure!!!