I'm not myself lately. Even I can admit that. I'm going through life's trials, if that's what you want to call them. Yes, I go through a routine of getting up Monday through Friday and going to work. On Sunday I get up and go to church. But really, lets be honest, my life is boring. Go ahead and tell me that its my fault. I'll understand. I think I know why people don't want anything to do with me. I'm wasted breath and space. I'm not interesting. Maybe I'm too strange or too obnoxious. Maybe I'm not caught up with the lastest trends enough. Who knows what the real reason is.
Maybe that's why I'm finding satisfaction in other "worldly" things. I've done things that I never thought I would do. Never thought I'd be a drinker. Never thought I'd have an addiction to food, among other small things. I'm to the point where I don't care what happens to my body. It's not like I'm pleasant to look at. Who would want to spend time with me? Let's list the reasons why not:
1. I'm not skinny
2. Some extra body to my frame
3. Red hair
4. Not tan
5. Actually likes to cover up and not reveal self to people
6. Maybe I talk funny
7. Almost 30 and still a virgin (maybe I should reconsider this one)
8. Not really a big drinker
9. Maybe its my green/hazel eyes
Oh well, this is my life. Work and stay in bed. Most days I don't want to get out of bed. It would be nice to have somewhere to call home, but lately I don't even feel welcome there. All I want to do is change things up a bit. Is it too much to ask?
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