Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye, Hello

Another year is close to an end. We say goodbye 2013 and hello 2014. While some people will be making their normal resolutions, my goal is to just take one day at a time. Sure I have some goals that I would like to accomplish, but if not it's okay. Lord willing there is always next year. Haha. 

Not too much before the New Year, I celebrate my birthday. I stated in my personal writings that I want this year to be different. I'm not sure what's ahead, but I'm looking forward to whatever is in store. I know that God is in control. 

The 2013 year was a pretty good year for me overall. Having found favor with my job and my most exciting goal of losing some of my excess weight. So far I have lost 40 pounds. Blessings come with obedience. Thank You Jesus! 

God answered my prayers. One thing I realized was that God uses my silliness. I think He gets a good laugh, but that's who I am. 

I am on my way to finding out more about who God is and more about who I am in Him. That's what I want out of 2014. 

Monday, December 30, 2013

Home Alone: The Perks

My Parents travel quite a bit. In fact as I type this they are currently in Florida, our hometown of Kissimmee. When they return, they will only be home for a couple of days before they head over to London. So naturally, even at 28 years old I find joy when they leave for a vacation. Yes I want them to be safe and return home safely, but still I like it when they leave. 
I thought it would be fun to list the perks of being home alone. Here they are: 

1. Brewing coffee. (My Dad can't stand the smell.)
2. No one is in the kitchen where I am awakened by the clanking of pots and pans. 
3. I choose what's for dinner. That is if I eat anything at all. 
4. Don't have to share TV time. 
5. I know I'm not disturbing anyone in the house. 
6. Loud music. 
7. Experimental cooking. 
8. Click out of being the bossy older sister. (My brother and I actually get along better)
9. I don't have to isolate myself to a certain part of the house. 
10. Access to Mom and Dads car.
11. I choose what time I eat dinner. It's usually around the 5:00 hour. 
12. Reading out loud and knowing I'm not bothering anyone. 
13. Not being asked to do anything. 
14. Clean at my own pace. No rushing for me. 
15. Not in a hurry for anything. 

Of course you can't just list the perks without mentioning the non-perks of being home alone. 

1. Take care of animals. This includes feeding hay to the cows during the winter. By the way, the hay we use makes me itch and sneeze like no other. 
2. Something usually always happens cow related, but just as long as it's none of them dropping dead or having troubled labor it's not that bad. I just have to keep watch. 
3. Make sure garbage is gathered and ready to go out on Monday. (Which reminds me, it's Monday!)... Be right back. 
Ok. I'm back!

4. Water plants. If you know me, this is probably the one thing that is the hardest. I don't do plants, at least real ones. They don't stand a chance. 
5. Let's just sum it all up. All the responsibility that I normally don't do, I have to do. 

I'm sure there are more pros and cons to being home alone, but all in all I enjoy it. 
May you have some of your own. Tell me what they are. 

Blessings :)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Right Words to Say

Saying how I feel about someone does not come easy for me. That might just be cause I have only done it one time and it ended up, well, not in my favor. So I often think about what I could/would say if it ever came about for me to do it again. Of course, the next time it happens, if it happens, I'm letting Holy Spirit have it. He will give me the right words to say. He will show me where, how, and when. No worries from me. God has everything under control. 

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Talking Now

In regards to what I wrote down earlier today. I love how God works and this is to show how good He really is. After starting a new plan called, Hearing from God, He reminded me that He does want to speak to me. It just may not be in ways He speaks to others. God made us each unique. He will speak. He has great plans for me. He loves me. If anything He keeps reminding me of His love. 

Wanting To Know

I like to express how I feel and what I am going through through writing. Everything that I would want to say comes out on paper. My mind is focused. What I'm feeling now isn't new, and surprisingly, its not a shocker that I feel this way.
I'm fragile. My heart is very sensitive. My feelings are hanging by a thread and at any moment I feel as if someone will come and cut that thread just to watch me shatter. I have noticed that I become discouraged easily. Not to mention, frustration with just about any little thing comes quickly. 
On a positive note, I really love to laugh. So I try to surround myself with people who will allow me to laugh as much as I can and want. They might look at me strange, but who cares? They don't and I certainly don't. 
I'm even feeling that I'm becoming spiritually deaf. What have I done that I just can not hear from God? I don't like to rely on other people to give the godly answers I need, when I know He's right there. Has He used others? Of course. Do I mind if He does so? No. However, that can not be my only way of getting answers. I need to hear from Him, but I'm not (at least I don't think I am). I do get these little reminders of His live for me, but how do those reminders answer my questions as to what? where? when? how? Not seeing it at all.
Ever since the beginning of this year, God has helped me to discipline myself to reading the Bible every day. Some days I may read longer or not so much as I did the last time, but its forming those good and positive habits that Christians should have. I find myself praying or even just give praise and thanks to God periodically throughout the entire day, not just when I get up and/or go to bed. 
Am I thinking to much into this? Is there not enough effort being put in from me?
I just want to know...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Writing Daily

Most people that know me, know that I keep a journal. They also know that's a daily thing for me to write. I keep three specific journals. The first one consists of everything. It includes what happens during the day, venting, scripture writing, positive thinking, all my personal info, if I went on a date, etc. My second journal includes just positive thinking. To help me stay on track, the front cover says," whatever is lovely, think about such things."  It also states praises and thanks to God, my Father. The third journal was given to me by a friend who made it specially a journal for my dreams, wishes, and desires. It's taking a little longer to fill up. 
I'm telling this because all three serve as a reminder of who God is and what He is doing in my life. I can think back to what He's done and I can even hope for what is to come. They all remind me of Gods love for me and how good He is to me. I can count my blessings through my writing. 

Let's face it

Why is it so hard to express feelings? Sometimes I wish feelings and desires never existed. Why bother to even believe that dreams come true? Or desires come to pass? I'm beginning to believe that it's just me. Let's just face reality. It's just me. 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Maybe It's Just Me

I have felt unwanted. I feel like people ( guys) only get with me because they think that they can't get who they really want. I'm not skinny. My body has some imperfections. I've got some curves. My frame isn't exactly small either. I bite my nails. I'm definitely not someone who would be picked out of a line up. Recently I had a dream and the enemy in my dream was my fear that keeps me from telling my true feelings. Oh she was beautiful. Perfect body, skin, hair, boobs, etc. You name it, she had it. 

I have felt unimportant. People know that I have a big heart. In fact I've been told by a family member that my heart is bigger than my head and that I need to balance it out. I have in the past, been taken advantage of. I just could not say no. It breaks my heart to see and know of people who are hurting in any way. 

I have felt unaccepted. On a positive note, I'm definitely a people person. Typically I'm not shy, but I do have a shy side. Here lately it's been difficult for me to plug in. My intention is never to be apart of a click. However, it's all around. 

I have felt forgotten. This one really speaks for itself. Just go log into my Facebook account and see how many times I'm saying Congratulations to people who have gotten engaged, gotten married, who are having babies, gotten their own house, etc. Another positive note, I sincerely mean the congratulations. Then on the other hand, I just want to delete my account all together because well,....you know. 

All these things put together makes me think what have I done wrong. What am I doing differently? Or maybe I've done nothing wrong, maybe it's just me? 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Three Weeks and Holding

Wrote the following about three weeks ago sitting in church.

No one knows how hurt I am except you. No one knows how scared I am except you. No one knows what thoughts go through my mind except you. No one knows what I've been through except you. No one knows how lonely I am except you. No one knows how often I cry myself to sleep except you. No one knows all the rejection I have faced except you. I know that I have failed. I know that I have fallen. I know that at times I'm ashamed of my past.

Lord I know you love me. I know you are my Savior. I know you are my friend even when it feels I am without. I know you are my helper. I know you are my provision. I know that you are my strength. I know that I am your child. I am your daughter. I am YOURS!!!

Show me Your glory.

Saturday, October 19, 2013


Feeling stuck.

If I could sum everything up that I'm going through, then there it is: feeling stuck. How am I stuck? In my direction. Here I am almost 28 years old and I have no clue what I need/want to do with my life. I used to think I did but since nothing has worked out for me, then I think I need a new game plan. Being in a career mode has never been my center focus. Well now it looks like I should become more focused on a career. Thing is I'm torn between my decision. Should I go in the direction of medical? Dental? Or really go the other way and do education? Should I finish my bachelors in theology? I do want to be financially stable. However, I see where God has placed me. I'm experiencing blessings and doors opening just from becoming an after school teacher. Shortly after that I was asked to join the preschool staff and the teaching staff at my church. So one would think that teaching is where I need to be.
Want to know what my dream  job is? It's to become a wife. Maybe a mom. Bug the older I get and the longer I wait, that dream becomes more unrealistic. Sometimes I think that married life just isn't for me. So why not have a career? The only way I'm going to know what to do is pray and maybe even fast. Definitely has to be God and no one else. That includes me.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I fear too

Fear. I struggle much with this. Recently in one of my devotions it was stated that there are four types of fear. They are fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown. Then it went on to ask what types do you struggle with? Answering honestly, I might deal with all of them at some point in my life, but I definitely struggle with two out of the four. I struggle with fear of rejection and fear of the unknown. Rejection, I think is nothing unusual. Here is how my mind works. Even though I know it will eventually drive me crazy and it might make me sick, I would rather wonder what if, should I, do they, does he ... I would rather ponder these things, than get hurt.  My guard is up and it's up high.  However, it is effecting my everyday life. I want to please people. Am I perfect? No. Do I want people to know I do my best? Yes. This is one of my flaws. Ask someone who really knows me. 

I fear the unknown. I don't know what tomorrow is going to hold. God willing, we will have tomorrow. No man knows the day of the hour of Christs return. Thing is I know better. The Bible is clear on anxiety. It says to be anxious about nothing. I desire things, but I wonder if those paths are for me. 

I struggle. I should not fear, but I do. Every time I'm asking God to help me. I need his strength, because my strength is gone. He is my peace and hope. 

Be blessed. 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Health Update #5

I have lost 40 pounds!!!

I am still doing the same thing, but now I have officially added exercise to my life. Let me tell you I feel great. At the end of July I have my three month diabetic check up. I am hoping for a good report. I am also going to request a couple of readings just for my knowing, but don't want to say much of anything about that right now until I know. 

To all the people who are supporting and helping through this, thank you. God bless. 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Prayer Time

Prayer. It's communicating with God, our Maker. Any kind of growing relationship requires communication. Think about your relationships. Can you imagine what it would be like if there was no communication? No I can't. The relationship would be boring. There are some moments when being quiet is nice and acceptable, but come on! I know that I, for the most part, like to talk. I enjoy a good conversation, even if it is random. Having communication produces growth. It establishes relationship. Well, how do you think God feels when He doesn't hear from us? He already knows your heart, mind, and soul. So why try and keep quiet. In my experience, if my family and friends don't hear from me in a while, they will think and assume that something is up and possibly wrong. 

Our communication with God is prayer. It's a straight and direct line to Him. He wants to hear from you and me. He wants to know about your day. He doesn't just want to hear from you when things go wrong, but talk to Him about the new and exciting things happening in your life. After all, He is the one who gave them to you. He's the one who blessed you. However, he does want to know about your broken heart, your sadness, and your frustrations. Feelings are very real. He wants to help you lift those un-welcomed feelings. He can replace those  with joy, strength, peace, etc. Whatever you need, He will be. 

God is seeking and pursuing you. Why can't we do the same and seek/pursue Him? 

Christ even helped us out and did us all a favor by showing/telling us how to pray. You know it as The Lord's Prayer. You can find it in the New Testament. "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 'Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 'Give us this day our daily bread. 'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [ For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.' ] (Matthew 6:9-13 NASB)

Begin your talk with God this way, then ask of Him your needs and desires. All He wants is for you to spend a little time with Him. I look at it like this: God is my Father. I am His daughter. So it's growing a relationship between a Father and His daughter. 

Blessings :)

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Health Update #4

In just barely three months I have lost over 30 pounds. Hard work is paying off, but its just the beginning. So far I've only been to the gym twice. I'm just getting started :) 

I'm excited to see what will take place. This would not be possible without God or any of my family and friends. Of course, I had to say yes to a change and submit to it. 

Thank you Jesus! 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Hold Nothing Back

The past couple of weeks have been a test of my faith and trust in God. Today, however, something clicked. I am a child of God. If you are saved, if you are born again, then you, my friend, are also a child of God. Nothing can hold you back any longer. Every thought of insecurity, doubt, unbelief, fear, etc... it has no right to be where you are. God is not about those things; He is not about confusion. God is about grace, mercy, forgiveness. He is about love, trust, and freedom. 

I say this because twice now (in the same week) I have become overwhelmed with thoughts that don't belong in my mind all because of fear. I can not let fear win. As a child of God, I do not have to hold back. God does not only give me strength and courage, He is my strength and courage. So next time those thoughts come into my mind, I just tell them to go back to the pit of hell where they came from and allow the Holy Spirit to be my peace of mind.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Who Will Pick Me Up?

It's almost June and July 13 will be here before I know it.  A friend of mine is getting married and she is encouraging me to bring a date/friend. What's a girl to do? Currently I have no boyfriend so it's not like I can just call up my man, give him all this wedding info and tell him when he needs to pick me up. Nope! Not that easy. For me it's a little difficult. Asking a guy out, even for something I may not even consider a date is hard. It presents thoughts and questions. Oh well, guess I'll keep praying/thinking about it. It might also help if I had any idea of who I would like to ask. Anyway, we'll see what happens. 

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Me and Risks: Part 2

Pastor Jimmy Evans from Gateway Church out in Texas said, "Satan puts fear on us so we won't do God's will. You'll regret EVERY fear-based decision you make."

Fear is the absence of Faith. My mind says one thing, my heart says another. So what do I do? I definitely don't want to be a coward because of my fear, but at the same time I don't want to look like a fool for going with my gut (shall we say). Plus, if I go with what I do feel and not fear, what if it does not go the way I was "hoping" it would? Then it would be hard to trust any kind of feeling ever again. I'm guess that's where the risk-taking comes in. I would have taken the risk and even though the response may not be what I intended or hoped for, at least I could say I didn't let a fear get the best of me. Fear didn't win.

Some of you might be wondering what I'm facing, but to be honest, I can't tell you. All I know what I'm going through, I am not the only one in the world. Taking a risk can go for any and all situations. I keep praying for God's will, that's number one. Secondly, I just ask for little things to take place, nothing huge. Little things can speak huge volumes. Of course, sometimes that's where I get in way over my head. I do know more than anything, that God has everything under control. I will continue to pray for His guidance. I will have faith and trust God completely.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Health Update #3


It has finally happened. I have reached my short term goal of losing 20 lbs. If you really want to get technical, it's 20.5

I am so excited. Everything I'm doing is paying off. For me, its not about being strict, but being wise about my food choices. Now the next step is to get into the gym and really see a transformation.


Friday, May 24, 2013

Me and Risks.

It's been brought to my attention several times about taking risks and stepping out on faith. My life has not experienced much risk taking. In fact I remember one step I took that scared me to pieces. It scared me so bad, I told myself never again. Well, ain't it funny how God has a sense of humor. Being a little old school, I was raised differently, but that is just how it is. Anyway, risk taking is something I have to learn. Times have changed but sometimes I just can't escape my old school upbringing. Let me just say this: Jesus help me. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Small Vent

Ever have a day where you just feel out of place? Today was that day for me. Lord! The only place I felt like I belonged was at my house in my bedroom. That was it. Didn't want to be anywhere today. To be honest, I can't really pinpoint as to why I felt that way. The feeling eventually went away, thank God, but it felt almost too much to handle. 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Health Update #2

My confidence has boosted this week!! On Monday I went for my check-up and found out some great news. My total weight loss as of May 13, 2013 is 17 lbs. That means two more pounds managed to get lost. Can't forget to mention that I have lost 5 inches off my waist. Talk about being a little giddy. After these stats, the nurse went to take my BP, and the machine couldn't read it because of all my excitement. I couldn't contain myself. For once, especially in a doctors office I couldn't sit still. I was laughing and I know my smile was from ear to ear.  So I had to calm down, breathing in and out to do so and try again. It finally read 110/76. AWESOME!!

My overall goal is to lose anywhere from 70 to 100 pounds. However, I know that I can't think of it like that so I gave myself a set of short term goals. My first short term goal is to lose 20 lbs. I am almost there. It's been a lot harder than what I thought it would be, but not impossible. I am surrounded by people that are encouraging and helpful.

I am so thankful for what has been achieved so far. I must continue to move forward. 

Once I reach my goal of 20 lbs, I plan on taking a picture just to see if I can tell a difference. Others can tell by looking at me; the only way that I have been able to tell my weight loss is because my clothes are becoming loose. In fact, bought a pair of sweat pants on Wednesday and I got them them a size and a half smaller.
YAY!! Praise The Lord! 

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Health Update

I am so happy right now, can't really contain myself. I have lost 15 pounds as of this morning (May 4). What have I been doing? No sugars. Little to no carbs. 

Towards the middle of April I was diagnosed with Type 2. That explained a lot as to why I was always not feeling very well. I knew that changes had to be made. Beginning the diet I weighed in at 270. Already by losing just 15 pounds, it has boosted my confidence. I am determined to not deal with this for the rest of my life. It must go!!! 

My goal is to lose about 100 pounds. Along with eating right, I have also been praying for God's help and strength. I have people surrounding me that will encourage and have been encouraging me. I am truly blessed with those people in my life.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Healing A Broken Heart

After my vent to God and still in tears, I went to my mom and laid my head on her lap. She immediately began to pray over me. It wasn't long that I began to feel His love again. I knew and still believe that God loves me. When I returned to my bedroom I just began to praise God for what He has done and for the many blessings in my life. Sometimes I forget what He's already done. God will never change who He is. He has healed my broken heart. For that I am thankful.

To be honest and even more real with you, I had to repent for my actions earlier in the day. I became so frustrated that I slammed my Bible to the floor. Not me at all. You see I am a child of the King. No matter how many times I screw up and fail, God is always there to pick us back up on our feet. He is the God of the second chance; third and fourth chance; the 1,337 chance, etc. He has forgiven me. I receive that forgiveness. Thank you Jesus!

Being Real

Let me be real with you. 
I am so frustrated at God right now. Seems like everything I do or I want to do he says no or worse he doesn't say anything. Totally feeling ignored. Why trust Him? Is there really hope? The little hope that I thought I had left is gone. To the point where when I go to bed, I don't want to wake up. God said to ask. So I asked. I asked for clear and specific, just feel like he passed me by. Answering the prayers of others, which is all good and all, but what am I doing wrong? Trying so hard not be selfish. Trying to not let my pride get in the way, but come on!!! What in the world!!! I don't like fake, so I try not to be fake. I want people to see something different in me, than what they do in others. 

As I write this, I wonder why I do the things I do. Why do I pray? Why do I read the Bible? Why do I help others? Why do I even "save" myself ? Really? Is it that important? 

John 15:7 says, " If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." The word abide means to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.

Well, its what I am trying to do. I refuse to give up this relationship I have with Christ, but God, show me something. You recently told me that those whom you have placed in my life have been sent to encourage me, but being able to receive is hard. Sometimes I feel like that orphan who You or nobody wants anymore. 

Coming home from church I cried all the way, because I felt like a piece of thrown away garbage. God!!! Is it that hard for You to wrap Your arms around me? Tell me its going to be okay.  

I love God. I love Jesus. I love all the people who God has placed in my life. Knowing that I need to persevere in God. That's what I am going to do. Jesus wants us to be real with HIm. He already knows what is oin our hearts and what's going through our minds. So we might as well. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Who I Was; Who I Am Now

Well, for starters, I know all about church. I was raised in and around church. From birth until now. My whole life has been centered around church and Christian morals and values. I heard all about the words of Jesus and the works of Jesus. I knew very early in life that salvation was the way to heaven only through Jesus. At age 4, I sang my first solo in church. I participated in the church plays and all the children's productions. 
At about age 8 or 9, I attended youth camp. Always looked forward to camp. It was the best part of my summer. This particular summer would put me on a course that would change my life. I GET SAVED!!! Definitely the best day ever. I believed and I made a choice.
Life went on. Continued to grow up and began learning how to serve in the church. My parents, both Godly and very talented in music, I started playing in the church band. As I mentioned earlier, I sang in the children's choir. Then when I finally made it to youth group, I joined the youth choir. That would eventually lead me to singing with the adults. 
In March 2003, the youth goes to Winterfest. I will never forget this trip. About 50-60 teens pile up in a charter bus and head up to Knoxville, TN for the weekend. Whoop! Whoop! Little did I know my life was about to change. During the service I knew that something was missing. I knew that even though I had gotten saved at such a young age, I knew that I had not been applying Christ to my life. I wanted a fresh start; a new beginning. This was the weekend that I dedicated my life back to Christ. The next night to follow I would be filled with the Holy Spirit. 
Since then my life has not been the same.
I am so thankful for Jesus Christ. I am forever grateful for the cross that He died on so that I could and may live. 

Recently I was asked the following questions:

  1. What is the essence of God's message through you? Even though I knew all about church, and I was a good person, God had to show me that I was empty. The only way I could be full was to be full in Him. I had to accept Christ as my Savior. 
  2. What is His call/purpose on your life? Well, just any other believer, we all share the calling to share the Gospel with others. I'm learning that it may be in a different way, but just as long as His word and truth are shared, then Praise the Lord.
Even since my re-dedication, I have messed up. I have had to ask God's forgiveness. Sometimes that's on a more than once a day, daily basis. That's cool though. God's grace is sufficient. Jesus cares for me enough, that He is not giving up on me. Thank God that He didn't. 

A Letter

It's been several times when I thought what I would do if we ever met up and saw each other face to face. Sometimes I wonder why there has been such a gap of time. You were someone I looked up to; someone I could come to about anything. Not anymore. When I learned the news of the divorce, I was devastated. That afternoon I laid in my mothers arms and cried. Since then I have placed a guard up over my heart. I have noticed that when I date and get into relationships, I end up dating the wrong guy. I will also end up breaking their heart before they have a chance to break mine. Am I too afraid to let the good ones in? Some people might say that I am, but its been eight years since the news and I am learning that it does not have to be my situation. At first, forgiveness was the furthest thing from my mind. I knew I needed to forgive, but I was so angry with you. However, I can't be this way anymore. I have to forgive and I will. Hatred and bitterness towards you is not an option. I do not hate you. I do forgive you. I hope you can forgive me too.


Saturday, March 16, 2013

Quiet Noise

Today has been a very quiet day. I woke up the first time at 6:40-ish, stayed up for a couple of hours and decided to take a nap. I slept until almost 1:00 in the afternoon. There has been a lot on my mind and today has been one of those days where I felt I could think clearly, without any distraction. Parents are on vacation/business trip. They will be gone several days. Then my brother has been working all evening. So the quietness has been enjoyed and appreciated.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


It's finally here!! A new season. Spring.
Everything is new and smells fresh.Oh, I love it!!!
New life comes to earth. New trees and fresh new flowers.
It is so beautiful.
Rain comes and hopefully lots of it.
I do my best not to complain, but oh how I love the smell of rain.
Washing the earth and rinsing it all clean.
It is so wonderful.
For my family, its new livestock. Our cows will start having their babies.
New births, they are precious.
Experiencing new life as one breathing creature after another comes into the world.
Lets not forget Easter.
The weekend that we remember Christ dying on the cross and on the third day HE AROSE!!
Only one word to describe that blessed day...awesome!

Spring is lovely, fresh, new, and beautiful.
It's crisp, cool mornings and evenings.
The afternoons are warmed up to that perfect 70 degree temperature.
For me, its an Easter dress and matching shoes to go with it. (This year I also want a matching Easter hat, so we'll see).
It's also hearing the baby birds in the morning, especially the ones who have found home on our porch.
It's Daddy getting his garden ready for the years crops. He will grow peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, potatoes, sweet potatoes, watermelon, cantaloupe, beets, strawberries, and all sorts of other stuff.
Its new grass coming up so my cows will have something to graze.

I love Spring.
Its about new beginnings.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Life Happens

Things aren't always what they seem to be. We all have a brain, but not one is the same. The way that we interpret things is different. Not every one will make decisions the same exact way. Whether we believe it or not, we are all uniquely different from others. The reason why I began with the statement  I chose is because of what I have had to face. Some people think that I have it all put together. If you think that, then you really don't know me. That's ok though. But for the ones who do know me, you can tell when I'm not my usual perky, bubbly self. Sometimes I don't even have to be in a mood, I could just be having one of those days. Hey!! It's called life for a reason and life happens!!
My life, I'm sure with several others around, has not turned out the way I thought it would. What do I have to say about that? Well, being a Christian I say the reason why it has not turned out the way I planned is because I tell myself and others that its not about what I want, but what God has planned already for my life. Everything has indeed happened for a reason. It's a reason that has been divinely orchestrated by God Himself.
I am having to learn several life lessons. Some are difficult to grasp and some are easy catch. However, I am also learning how control my minds thoughts. Again, sometimes easy; sometimes not.  There's a list of thoughts that I have written on my bathroom mirror to remind me what kinds of thoughts I should be thinking. These thoughts have already been of great help to me during this month of February. For example, there is a thought that says, "I am content and emotionally stable." I about busted out laughing when I saw it. I knew immediately that this was one I would have to work on. Contentment has become more accepting, but the emotionally stable part, not so much. This past year has been really testing me emotionally. So my goal for the past 28 days has been to change my way of thinking and to get a start and get grounded in my thoughts. For me it's been possible to do so because I have been reading my Bible more everyday. It has not felt like a chore. My prayer life is growing. I could be in my works supply room, and if you were to come in and hear me talking to myself, more than likely I am praying. The one thing I like that I have noticed is I am laughing more. I do not like the feeling of depression. It's a lonely place to be, but I am far from being lonely. God has never left me. I have a family. I have friends, several church family, and great people that I work with. God has indeed blessed me. My faith and hope are renewed. I am ready to move forward.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Pure Perfection: CHRIST

I believe that it has finally clicked. Well, it's at least getting to that point.

No one can ever love you like Jesus will.
No one can ever care for you like Jesus will.
No one can ever satisfy you like Jesus will.
No one can ever value you like Jesus will.

Believe what Jesus can and will do for you. Know that man will fail you. No one is perfect, but we seem to keep searching for that perfection in ourselves and in man. When really the only one who is perfect is Christ.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Valentine's Day

This years Valentine's Day has been by far the best I have ever experienced. Let me tell you why. I began a new job towards the middle of October as an after-school teacher here at a local church. After only being employed for about 3 1/2 months I am given the opportunity to become an assistant Pre-school teacher for Pre-K program. For me it was an honor and a privelidge to even be thought of, and of course I accepted. These past couple of months have been amazing. Never in a million years would I have thought of myself as a teacher. In fact, six months before even considering the after-school position, I would have not put myself as a teacher. Truly, it has to be the plan of God. Someone even made the statement, "I think you found your calling." Well, I guess so.

The children that I teach are really awesome kids. I tell the surrounding teachers that my class is the best. The candy that is shown above just goes to show how awesome they are. I am blessed beyond measure!!!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

What Makes Me

Something that I have always struggled with is trying to please the people around me and caring way too much about what they think. It's a battle that I still fight even today. There are days that I don't feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, but its all a lie. To be honest though, I have fallen for the lie several times. I will beat myself up for it too. The mind that we have will either be trained to work for us or against us. Who trains the mind? Well, I have trained my mind to think the way it does. However, I am on a mission. The goal is to change my way of thinking. Stop being so hard on myself. I'm not supposed to be like anyone else, so why even bother trying? I am not those other people. I am Sarah. So what if my life has not turned out the way I thought it would, at least I'm not miserable. I am not depressed. I am beyond blessed.
On the other hand, I feel like I should care what people think of me. People should be able to believe what I say; they should know that if I say that I'm going to do something, then I will do it. People should see a woman who is confident in who she is and what she believes. Even when I am confident, if people don't like it, then its okay.

Don't judge me based on what you see on the outside, but on the inside. I came to the realization a while back that I am by no means perfect. I can strive for perfection, which is cool, but I will not obsess over the thought. Perfection will come soon enough. That's when Christ comes and takes His children home.