Sunday, February 17, 2013

What Makes Me

Something that I have always struggled with is trying to please the people around me and caring way too much about what they think. It's a battle that I still fight even today. There are days that I don't feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, but its all a lie. To be honest though, I have fallen for the lie several times. I will beat myself up for it too. The mind that we have will either be trained to work for us or against us. Who trains the mind? Well, I have trained my mind to think the way it does. However, I am on a mission. The goal is to change my way of thinking. Stop being so hard on myself. I'm not supposed to be like anyone else, so why even bother trying? I am not those other people. I am Sarah. So what if my life has not turned out the way I thought it would, at least I'm not miserable. I am not depressed. I am beyond blessed.
On the other hand, I feel like I should care what people think of me. People should be able to believe what I say; they should know that if I say that I'm going to do something, then I will do it. People should see a woman who is confident in who she is and what she believes. Even when I am confident, if people don't like it, then its okay.

Don't judge me based on what you see on the outside, but on the inside. I came to the realization a while back that I am by no means perfect. I can strive for perfection, which is cool, but I will not obsess over the thought. Perfection will come soon enough. That's when Christ comes and takes His children home. 

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