Forgiving Me

Forgiving others seems simple, but when it comes to forgiving yourself it can be difficult. We have our fears, our doubts, and our insecurities. I have done things in my life that I do regret; some things more than others. However, what I have realized is that everything boils down to one thing: PRIDE! It's all about me. Pride was and is the original sin.
God loves me and has always loved me; He will continue to love me. I am just as deserving to be loved. As long as I have breath, my life belongs to Him. As long as I have breath, He will always love me and I will always love Him.
Forgiveness is not always easy. There have been people in my life that I have looked up to and they in return completely let me down. There is no excuse for his or her actions. They made their choice, but what I am having to learn is that I DO NOT have to make that same choice. However, I'm choosing not to make that choice because I'm too afraid to even take that step.
I've been afraid of things. I've even been afraid that certain things not happening such as weight loss, getting married, becoming pregnant. I pondered on these things because I thought God would punish me for the sin that I did. But God... I seek Him, he finds me. I cry out to Him. With my whole heart I repented and asked God for His forgiveness. I'm trying to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, etc. With God all things are possible. I love what Romans 8:28 says, "He makes all things work together for your good." I like to take scripture and personalize it for my own life and walk with the Lord. "He makes ALL things work together for MY good."
It is so easy to say that we need to trust God. It's easy to say that we do trust God, but do we really? In some areas of my life I do, but in other areas I don't know if I do. I carry some doubts. So in saying this: You either trust God or you don't. I choose to trust Him. I also choose to fully believe that He has forgiven me, just like a Father does, and I choose to believe that I have forgiven myself.